Sad Angels on Earth
by erised73
Summary: In the end of her sixth year at Hogwarts, Hermione gets awful news that wil forever change her. Draco, who has been her boyfriend for two months has broken up without any explanation. Something inside of Hermione dies the day this happens. She learns to m


And I can only imagine  
What's she's feeling when she's praying  
Kneeling at the edge of her bed  
And she says:  
Take me away  
And take me farther  
Surround me now  
And hold, hold, hold me  
Like holy water  
Holy Water- Big and Rich

"Just take me away from here... please, please Dear Lord, take me away," whispered Hermione Granger as she knelt by her bed with tears freely flowing from her eyes. She refused to dry her eyes, letting her tears soak her bed sheets and form a steady stream down her cheeks, making her hair cling to her face. This can't be happening. After everything I gave him... everything I told him... and he leaves. He just walks out of my life like nothing was ever there. Like we never were together. Hermione could not stop thinking about the events of this past evening. She had been sitting in the Gryffindor common room, reading her latest book ( A Walk to Remember, by Nicolas Sparks.) She had always had a liking of muggle books and she could not resist to make a very long special request list at the book store in Hogsmeade every time she visited. Then suddenly she heard a small pop and there was Draco' s head staring at her from inside the fireplace. She smiled at him and greeted her boyfriend with a warm Hello! before asking him what this sudden fire visit was for. He looked at her solemnly and she could tell this was not a visit just to put a smile on her face. He looked at her through the flames of the fire and slowly said the words that Hermione now kept repeating over and over in her head. " Hermione, there is no easy way to say this. This is... too much for me. I'm so sorry. But... I think we should just be friends. This whole relationship has been wonderful. I love you but...--" That was when Hermione exploded, "NEVER, EVER SAY THOSE WORDS TO ME AGAIN DRACO MALFOY! IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULD NOT BE DOING THIS!" Then she ran out of the common room, disbelief rushing through her head. For a while she tried to reason with herself, actually defending him in her mind, reminding herself that a three month relationship was no big thing, and there was no reason for her to be so upset. She held in the tears for so long that she began to feel faint and she began pacing back and forth throughout her dorm. Then, grabbing her Prefects badge and hurriedly pinning it to her sleeping robes, she rushed out the portrait hole and a down a flight of stairs straight to the door of the Prefect's bathroom. She breathed the password, "Sweetpea!", and the door magically dissolved and she slowly walked into the bathroom. Instead of filling the bathtub up with hot water and relaxing, she turned the shower in the far corner of the bathroom on. She stood there, allowing the water to run on her body and relieve the tension that had been building up in her muscles.

Slowly, she leaned back against the wall and slid to the ground. She put her head in her hands and stayed there. For how long, she's not sure. Her head was swimming with memories. Walking to classes with him. The look on everyone's face when they had announced their relationship to their friends. Talking to him for hours on end in the library, even after Madam Pince had closed up for the night. Her leaning against the wall with him slowly and passionately kissing her. Finding the door to the room that held the Mirror of Erised and looking into it and seeing her with him, then asking what he saw and him telling her that he, too, saw them being together. Hearing him cry as he admitted to the cruelty that everyone suspected went on in his household during holiday. The feeling she felt when he first placed his hand on her cheek and pulled her in for a kiss. And then she went to the memories that she had tried to forget about. She saw herself lying on her bed with him touching her in places that she had only been touched once before, when she had mistakenly allowed herself to go too far with a boy she met on her usual summer visit to France. Her fully, emotionally and physically giving herself to him. Putting herself in his hands and knowing that he could break her heart at any moment, but trusting him not to. She stood up and turned the water off. She dried her hair with a towel and slowly dressed herself.

She reached to her neck and removed the silver necklace hanging from it. She walked, as though in a trance, up the stairs, throught the portrait hole and into the girl's dormitory in Gryffindor Tower. She went up to Ginny Weasley's bed and threw the necklace onto her bed, tears streaming down her face. Without even asking, Ginny closed her Transfiguration book and jumped out of bed. Within moments she was rocking her best friend in her arms, consoling her broken heart and telling her that Draco Malfoy was not worth her thoughts let alone her tears. Hermione tried to agree, but she found herself only thinking of how it felt to be in Draco's arms, instead of Ginny's.

After an uncertain amount of time pasted Hermione finally left Ginny's room and headed the room for her year. All the other girls must have been in the library or walking around the grounds because when she opened the door, she found the room empty. For the first time in months, she knelt by her bed, looked around to make sure there was definitely no one in the room, and prayed. " Heavenly Father, I have not asked you for anything in months, years almost, but if you could just do thing for me, I will try harder to show my devotion to you. Please, just take me away from here... please, please Dear Lord, take me away." The she began to shout, " I loved him! How could you take him from me? Was this in the cards? Is this punishment for losing my faith? What did I do God? Why did you take from me! I love him ! I love him!" Soon all she could was repeat the last statement, her screaming turning into sobbing, then whispering, then fading altogether. Not sure what she was doing, she put on her cloak and put her wand in her pocket. She walked to the door and before she realized where her legs had taken her, she was in the astronomy tower. The pulled herself onto the window seat and looked out at the night sky. As hard as she tried, she could not stop her mind from thinking about Draco. She saw the moon gleaming on the lake and then a shooting star passed by over head. She sighed to herself and thought, This is just the beginning of many, many sleepless nights.

Hermione stayed in the tower the whole night. She never fully fell asleep, only day dreaming before the memory of Draco's visit in the fire jarred her awake and made more tears strwam down her cheeks. She knew the girls in her dorm would be worried about her, but she didn't care. She would take as much time as she needed to get ready to face the rest of the student body. ALthough Ginny was her best friend, she was sure she would have told Harry and Ron about the past night's events and sge also knew that whenever they heard they would yell so loudly that someone else would overhear. By now the whole school probably knew what they believed to be the true story. And she just couldn't imagine going to breakfast and hearing the whole great hall become quiet as she walked through the entry way. So she stayed in the astronomy tower until half an hour before breakfast was over. Then she walked to her dorm and changed into her school robes. She was the first person in her Potions class. Snape just glared at her. She was probably imagining it, but she was almost certain she saw a look of pity in his eyes when he mumbled a greeting to her before the rest of the class walked in.

Harry was the first person to walk into the dungeon and see Hermione seated at Harry and Ron's usual table. He stopped dead, causing a traffic jam at the door. Draco's voice could be heard from somewhere outside the classroom door. "What's the hold up, Potter? Is your poor scar hurting again? Think the Dark Lord is trying to send you hidden messages about our Potions lesson?" he sneared. A few complaints were heard as Draco shoved his way through the people to get to the door. He pushed away out of the way and walked into the dungeon. His eyes rested on Hermione for only a milisecond, before turning away and sitting at the table that they had been sitting in the past two months.

Hermione met his gaze for a moment and felt a sob building up in her chest. She quickly swallowed the lump in her throat, making her sick to her stomach from denying her eyes the right to cry. He acts like nothing happened. Like we were never more than schoolmates. How on earth can he be so damned calm about this? Snape did not call on her for the most part of the lesson, so Hermione sat there and stared at Draco, as though to will him to look at her too. But his gaze stayed on the teahcer as he lectured about the newest potion they would be brewing next lesson. When the bell rang Draco practically ran out of the room, leaving Hermione to slowly gather her belongings and hug her books to her chest. Snapes voice came across the room in his usual monotone. "Don't expect this special treatment next class, Granger. The only reason I refrained from calling on you is because you looked as though the only thing that could escape from your mouth would be a scream if you opened it. I decided I did not feel like having to send you to the hospital wing, so I allowed you to mope. But next lesson be prepared to make up for this practically missed class period." Hermione merely nodded and then walked out of the dungeon. As expected, Harry and Ron were waiting for her. The whole way to their next class, Care of Magical Creatures, she heard nothing but Harry and Ron's sordid plans to kill Draco without anyone noticing.

But Hermione wanted nothing to do with their juvenile plans. She just wanted Draco back. He would purposely gather his things up slowly at the end of all of theri classes together, hoping that she would stay and talk to him, but she could not bare it. Ginny had helped her look her best for the past two weeks, waking up early to charm her hair into either gentle ringlets that fell half way down her back, or straightening it so it fell down to her waist. Even Lavender helped by allowing Hermione to borrow some of her special designer robes to wear on weekends. But after a while all the extra time and effort it took to look her best just started to get tiring and Hermione fell back into her habit of pulling her hair into a pony tail and wearing her own normal plain robes. She tried to owl Draco and get him to answer what she had done wrong, what she could change about herself that would make him want her back, but to no avail. All he would tell her was that he just lost the feeling. It just died. SHe would try to bring up all of the memories that she held so close to her heart, reminding him of all those nights that they had snuck out to the old classroom that they had discovered and how they had, maybe a little to quickly, allowed each other to explore the other's body. And she would remind him of how he was the only one who helped her when she was facing all of her problems at home. And how she had listened to him cry as he told her of the harhness of his father and how his mother finally could not take it and left, leaving him alone with his father. Every night she would write another letter to him. Some she sent and some she kept, hiding them in the heart shaped box where she hid all of the things that he had ever given her. All the pictures and the notes and the litle things that no one would understand what they meant except her and maybe Draco.

After months and months of seeing Hermione's gaze blankly staring out the window, her friends finally realized that she still had not gotten over Draco. They noticed for the first time how the circles that had appeared under her eyes a month after the break were still ther, although they were worse now. That was when all the pieces started to fall together. Hermione still had not slept more than a few hours a night. SHe still snuck out to the astronomy tower. SHe still loved him. Eight months later and she was not over her two month relationship with Draco Malfoy. They all tried to talk to her, but the only one who could get through to her was Ginny, who did not tell her to get over him, but instead just comforted her and tried to help her forget. They would soon be graduating from Hogwarts and Ginny knew that the sooner she forgot, the sooner Harry and Ron woujld not be afraid to leave her on her own.

Graduation day came along and Hermione found herself not thinking of Draco for the first time in almost a year. She smiled with her friends as they all got their pictures taken and exchanged addresses with most of them. As she stepped off the Hogwarts Express for the last time and began to walk off of Platform 9 3/4 she caught of glimpse of Draco. He was standing about 20 feet from her, watching her out of the corner of his eyes. She stopped walking towards the arch way and ran over to him. She threw her arms around him, kissed him on the cheek and whispered in his ear, "Don't forget about us." Then, with one last look into his icy eyes she waved at him and then ran back over to her cart and walked right out of the Platform, disappearing through the arch way right before Draco's suddenly clouded eyes.

First Chapter

If you forgive me all this  
If I forgive you all that  
We forgive and forget and it's all coming back to me  
When you see me like this  
And when I see you like that  
We see just what we want to see  
All coming back to me  
The flash and the fantasies, all coming back to me  
I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me...  
Now  
All Coming Back to Me Now- Celine Dion

Hermione Granger was extremely tired. She had been at the book store that she owned since six that morning and all she wanted to do was go home and relax with her old battered copy of Hogwarts, A History and a nice warm cup of coffee. She had graduated from Hogwarts ten years ago with the plans to work for Muggle Relations, but then she was walking down the street one day in Hogsmeade and saw a little building for sale down an alley that she had never seen before. When she saw the building she quickly found a sign that told where to send an owl if anyone was interested in buying the building. Perhaps on impulse, maybe it was fate going to work, but without even thinking Hermione quickly wrote an inquiry on an spare piece of parchment and ran to the Post Office. Ideas were soon overflowing her mind. She had always wanted to own her own book store, with a little cafe inside and soft couchs that her customers could sit on and read their new purchases. She ran to Flourish and Botts, and found, to her amazement, that they were about to toss out some extra books that had accidently been shipped to them and they had no way of returning. She asked if that happened often and was thrilled to find out that delivery owls sometimes got sidetracked and would deliver books that were not supposed to be delivered there, but everytime they would attempt to send them back they would always be at the door the next day. So usually they would just throw them out. Well, Hermione saw this as a very good business oppurtunity and told the owners her idea for a book store. They gave her the box of books and assured her that they would inform her everytime that a new accidental delivery occured so she could take the books.

Hermione ended up hearing from the wizarding real estate company that same day and bought the building and opened it within a month. At first she called it the Book Nook, but then she got to thinking. She remembered the magic of the Mirror of Erised, how it showed the viewer their heart's desire and she realized that books had a way of doing the same thing. When reading a book Hermione felt as though she were in it. As though she could be or do anything that her heart desired. So she called her little book shop Erised. And that was the beginning of that.

Well, on this day, a few months after opening the shop, Hermione was putting a few new books out onto the shelves when she heard the bell at the counter ring. "I'll be there in a minute!"she called out. As she turned around and began to walk towards the check out counter her eyes set on a head of platinum blond hair. She froze. It can't be him. No, no, he's much too young. He looks to be about ten. Thank God! Hermione quickly walked over to wear he was standing.

"Can I help you with anything?"  
"Yes," said the young boy. " I want to buy a birthday gift for my dad."  
Oh my God, his birthday will be in a week! I can't believe I forgot. And those eyes. It has to be a coincedence. No matter if he has the same hair and eye color. And his father has close to the same birthday. We'll see about this.  
"I see, when is your father's birthday?"  
"March 28."  
Shit! Shit, shit, shit! It can't be. It just can't. This boy seems to be 10. That would mean that he would have been born the same year that we graduated. And I don't think that he had a girlfriend then... did he?  
"Well," Hermione said as calmly as she could, " What kind of book does your dad like?"  
"Hmmm, I saw him reading a book that had broomstick on it."  
"Ah, then he must like Quidditch. There is the quidditch section," she said and pointed to an area a few feet away. " I'll be here if you need any help. There are couchs in the front and you can go and read there if you would like."  
"Ok, thanks so much," he said, and simply walked over to the section, picked up a thick book and carried it over to the biggest chair and began to read.  
Hermione had watched the boy read for over three hours. He had finished two books and was starting on his third one when she walked over to him and offered him a cup of pumpkin juice."  
"Here it's on the house. You've been here all day. Find anything good?"  
"Yes, but I realized halfway into the first book that he owns that already, but I was so caught up in it, I had to finish. Then I read another book by the same author. Then I found this one. Can I have them all?"  
"Yes, but that would be quite expensive."  
"Don't worry, money isn't a problem, see?" He said and held up a bag filled to the brim with knuts, sickles, and galleons.  
"Well, then just come up to the counter. That will be... 2 galleons and 3 sickles. Thanks for stopping in. I hope to see you again. What did you say your name is?"  
"Tristan. And do you mind if I stay and read for a little longer. I don't live too far from here."  
"No, no, go right ahead. Would you like anything to eat, there is plenty at the cafe."  
"No thanks, I'm all right for now."

The bell rang as someone walked through the door. Hermione didn't need to turn around. She knew. Before she heard his voice. She knew.  
"Tristan? Are you in here? It's time to come home son."  
"Ok dad! I'll come back again real soon. I love this store!" Tristan said to Hermione.  
Hermione took a deep breathe before calling back, "Ok Tristan. I hope to see you soon!"  
The boy's father stopped right as the door came back and nearly hit him in the face. He turned around slowly. Walking over to the cafe where Hermione was sitting at a small table with her new Iris Johansen book and a cup of hot coffee, he stopped in front of her. As though searching for the right words, finally he weakly said, "Hello Hermione."

She froze as his hand brushed hers as he sat down at her table.She became mute at that moment. She looked into his eyes and saw all the things that she had been running from for ten years. All that passion. All the emotions. And worse yet, all the pain. He continued looking at her with that famous smirk on his face, waiting for her to find her voice. Finally after what seemed like an eternity she mumbled out, "Hello to you too Draco."  
"Well, well, well," he drawled, " What do we have here? A book shop. Go figure, Granger. Or is it Potter now? Or Weasel? They always were in competition for you."  
"It's Granger," she said through gritted teeth.  
"I see my son seems to like your store. Yes, Granger, my son. I see that look of astonishment on your face. Don't start with the calculations. He is ten. Or will be very soon. Yes, he was born the same year that we graduated. And most likely, yes to all your other questions."  
Hermione just stared at him. She wanted to scream at him to get out of her store. She had tried for ten years to forget about him. Ron and Harry both had proposed to her and she had turned both of them down. She knew who she loved. It would be unfair to marry one man and love another.   
"Well, if you aren't going to talk to me Granger, I guess I'll be going. Come Tristan."  
But the little boy stayed in his chair. He seemed to be in another world, reading.  
"Tristan Malachi Malfoy,I said come on! We are leaving!"  
Tristan jumped out of his chair and gave one last wave to Hermione and walked out of the store.

As soon as they left the store Hermione used floo powder and yelled Ginny Weasley's name. Ginny jumped as Hermione's head appeared in the fire of her bedroom.  
"Hermione! Wow, this is a surprise! What-Hermione, what's wrong. You look awful."  
" He, he was just at the store."  
"Who, Hermione? Who was-- Draco?"  
"Yes. And he has a son. Tristan Malachi Malfoy. Oh, yeah. A ten year old son at that. Born the year we graduated! Did you know he had a girlfriend then? Ginny, what am I going to do? His son is so sweet. Reminds me of Draco. I can't go back to my sotre! What if he comes in again? What am I going to do? Wait a minute Ginny, I think I just heard the bell ring. I thought I locked the door. I'll have to get back to you Ginny. Meet me in the fire later tonight?"  
"Sure Hermione. Just remember, don't do anything crazy. I'll talk to you later. Try to calm down."  
"I will, Ginny, I will." and in the blink of an eye Hermione was back in her store. She walked out of the back room and saw a figure standing near the front of the store. She knew it was him before she even looked. She could tell by the way her heart began racing and the way the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. By the way her body felt warm, but she couldn't stop shivering. That was the effect that he always had on her.  
" I had to come back Hermione."  
"I know, Draco, I know."

He walked over to her and gently placed his hand on her shoulder. She felt shivers rush up and down her spine at such a small touch. His hand traveled down to her waist and he gently brushed what he knew to be her most ticklish spot.  
"Draco," she giggled. "What are you doing? What about Tristan's mother?"  
"Tristan has no mother. At least not anymore. His mother was the daughter of one of my father's good friends. We got together the night of my party that my parents threw after my graduation. She became pregnant. She died during childbirth. The child has been mine since. I love him to death. I wouldn't have things any other way."

Draco slowly walked over to Hermione and soon she found herself pressed up against a book shelf. His hand seemed to appar on her chin as he pulled her face in towards his. And he kissed her. It was a slow, sensual kiss. The kind he knew she loved. And suddenly, all the things that Hermione had his in the shadows of her mind came rushing back. All the times they had kissed in the shadows of the castle. All the love letters she would recieve in the mornings of the holidays when he would go home and she would stay at the school. Then all the bad things. All the lies, all the pain. All the times he had given her false hope that there was still a chance for them, when he knew there never would be. But then, as he kissed her again, this time a deeper, more passionate kiss, all those things seemed to float away. She forgave him. And he forgave her for all the times that she had tried and tried again to talk to him, no matter how much she annoyed him. It was as though she was seeing him as a new person. And he held her for a little while longer before pulling away from her and asking, " What we had, the whole two months, it was really was love, wasn't it? It doesn't matter that it only lasted for a couple months. It really was real."  
"Yes," whispered Hermione. "Yes, Draco, it really was." Then she rested her head on his chest listening to his heart beating.  
"You see, Hermione. I did what you asked. I didn't forget about us."

I used to get away with so much  
Now I can't get away.  
I even thought that it was simple  
To say the things I wanted to say.  
And you told me  
Everything I wanted to hear  
And you're so mean  
Now I don't know how I should feel  
I should know me  
And be me, you would think I knew better.  
I'm finding my way back to you  
And everything I used to be  
Now waiting is all that I can do  
Until you find a way back to me.  
What if I said what I was thinking?  
What if that says too much?  
Finding My Way Back- Michelle Branch

Try as she might, Hermione could not sleep. Everytime she closed her eyes she saw Draco. After their little fling he had just walked out the store, just like that. Without another word. She didn't know if they were together or what had happened. Half of her thought that she had just imagined the whole thing. But she knew it was real. She could feel it. And Hermione could not fall asleep.

Hermione reached over and turned her alarm off before it made a sound. That was the worst night's sleep I've had in years. Then she remembered. Draco. Ugh, she didn't want to get out of bed today. She knew she had to, though. She was getting a new shipment of books in today from Flourish and Blotts and she had to hurry so she could set them out for all the customers that she knew, although they denied it, waited just as anxiously as she did for a shipment. She tied her long chestnut hair in her usual ponytail and threw on her deep plum robes that she wore when she wanted to be comfortable. She slowly waked out of her bedroom and into the kitchen of her small apartment and turned her coffee pot on. In no time she had a thermos of coffee, bewitched to stay warm all day, and she was off. She always walked the few blocks to her book shop instead of apparating for two reasons, she needed the exercise and it gave her time to think.When she arrived at the store she found a pleasant surprise waiting patiently outside of the shop- Tristan. When he heard her coming he stood up and brushed his robes off.

"Hi! I woke up early this morning and decided to come and see if you were open yet. I saw the sign on the door and decided to wait. I really like your shop."  
"Thanks, Tristan. My name's Hermione by the way, I don't know if I told you that yesterday."  
"No, but my dad did after we left."  
"I see. Well, come in, have you eaten breakfast yet? We have somethings over at the cafe that you could have. You could have pumpkin juice and toast."  
"That sounds great." He said and walked over to the cafe.

The new books arrived right at nine like they always did. Her usual customers ran up to the counter when the delivery owls arrived with the packages. There were many new books on quidditch, Hermione saw, and decided to put a few back for Draco for his birthday. There was the autobiography about the Weird Sisters, which as soon as the girls saw it they began fighting over who would get it before Hermione even put a price on it. There were random self-help books with titles like Dealing With the Blues; 101 Simple Cheering Charms to be Used at Any Age, household books, divination books, Everything You Need to Know About the Dark Ages But Were Too Afraid To Ask, and other random books. Hermione priced each book and took a few of the quidditch books over to Tristan, who smiled happily and immediantly began to read the first one.

Tristan stayed at the shop all day. He read just about every book there was on quidditch, bought half of them, then started on the other sections of the store. He found a book entitled Rome Really Was Built In a Day and then sat back down. Hermione wrapped each of his purchases very carefully and set them down beside him. She was in the back room when she felt the old familiar shivers start and knew that Draco had arrived for his son.  
"Hermione, my dad's here and I have a few more books that I want to buy," called Tristan from his seat by the window.  
"All right, I'll be right out."

With a quick glance in her mirror she rushed to the front of the store. There he was, standing by the chair while Tristan showed him all of new books, in his usual black cloak with deep red robes underneath it. His hair was done as usual, with a few stray strands falling in front of his silvery eyes. Tristan walked up to the counter and paid for three other books making it a total of ten books than he had bought that day. While she wrapped the books she chanced a quick glance at Draco. He wouldn't even look at her. He smiled at his son and when Tristan turned around to wave goodbye, Draco didn't utter a word. Hurt and confused, Hermione poured herself a cup of coffee and began to read Amortentia, a new romance novel that had also arrived today. She finished one cup of coffee and poured herself another. Hermione had tried to drink her troubles away with alchohol, but to no avail, for some reason she seemed to think about her problems more when she was drunk, so she had started on coffee. The warmth seemed to comfort her and the book took her mind to a different place. But nothing seemed to help today. Why had Draco ignored her? What had she done? Had she maybe forced herself onto him without realizing it? No, she was sure that he had been the one to kiss her, but maybe he had planned on her pushing him away. Kissing him had opened her heart to feelings that she had thought she had forgotten. She had not felt this way for ten years. For some reason, she cared that he was not talking to her. Hermione walked over to the door and put up a sign saying that she had closed early. Then she put her cloak on and walked around the town, looking for any sign that would state which house Draco now lived in. She was sure that he would have something showing that a Malfoy lived in the house outside, so everyone knew. The family was quite showy. Then, to her surprise, she saw Tristan swinging in the front yard of a small house that didn't seem to fit the usual Malfoy stature. She thought maybe he was visiting a friend, but there in the window was Draco, wearing glasses and reading a book. Every so often he would look out to check on Tristan. Thankfully Hermione could see them, but they could not see her. She waited until Tristan went inside and then walked up to the door. Just as she was about to knock Draco opened the door. He just stared at her then moved to close the door. She put her hand out and pushed the door open, challenging him. 

"You always were a piece of work, Granger. All right, come on in."  
"Thank you. And since when do you call me Granger? I seem to remember you calling me Hermione last time we talked."  
"Yes,well, if you mean last time we really sat down and talked, then that was ten years ago. Things change in ten years."  
" I see that. You have a son. I never would have expected that."  
"Yes, and you aren't married to Potter or Weasel either. I never would have expected that."  
A cold silence went through them. Then she dared to speak again.  
"His name is Ron Weasley, not Weasel. I seem to remember you calling them by their correct names also."  
"And as I said, things have changed. So why did you not marry one of them. It's not like they didn't want you. They never did try to hide it. Not even when..." his voice died down. He didn't even dare speak of their relationship.  
"You know I couldn't marry one of them," she whispered, barely audible.  
"See Granger, that's why I don't try with you anymore. You look into things too much. You always seem to say the wrong things at the wrong times."  
"Well, you ask for it most of the time. Like last night."  
Draco winced. "You had to bring that up. You can never just leave things alone can you?"  
"Draco, I'm not the one who kissed you. I'm not the one that showed up at my store, after hours and pushed me up against a wall and knew just the right things to do to get me to do anything. In case you forgot, you did all of that. I don't know why. Draco, before even seeing that someone was in the store, I knew it was you. I could just feel it. When I have this connection to you, when I can tell when you are in the same room as me without even looking up, it can't be one sided. So tell me that you dont' care about me. Go ahead. I'll leave, just tell me that you don't. I'll... I'll move my shop. I'll leave Hogsmeade and we won't have to see each other again. Just say the words. You know I will do it. I'll leave tonight if you wish it. Just look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't think about me at night when you can't sleep. And look me in the eyes tell me that you felt no butterflies in your stomach when you heard my voice yesterday. Look me in the eyes and tell me. Tell me you don't love me. I promise that I will leave after that."

"Hermione." His voice was barely a whisper. She had to lean in closer to hear him. "It's not that easy, Hermione. There's so much. Too much. You could never understand, I know that you want to, but you never could. I know you couldn't."  
"Just try me. How do you know that I won't? Draco, do you remember standing in front of the Mirror of Erised. And seeing ourselves being with each other. Most people don't get the chance to get what they see in the mirror. It's impossible. There was no chance that Ron would ever be Head Boy and Harry's family is dead. No matter how much they want, they can never have what they see in the mirror. We have a chance at that. Don't you see how lucky we are. We could have that. We could be together. But you can't keep running from whatever it is your running from."  
"Ha, you should talk Granger. You've been running from something for ten years. And if you wouldn't have seen me yesterday you would have kept running. So don't tell me to stop running. I can run away as much as I want."  
"It won't make things better Draco."  
"Neither will facing it. Granger..."

"All right, enough! Stop calling me that! You know my name! How can you forget that! You act like you can just shove everything away and brush it off. Either you are a good actor or you discovered a spell that I don't know about. Please, Draco, just answer me this. How can you act like nothing happened? Like you never said all of those things. Like you didn't kiss me. How can you do it? I know you are good, but you are not that good. You are feeling something. I see it in your eyes. Your eyes always give it away when you are hiding something. And you, Draco Malfoy, are hiding something. Now what is it? Do you regret kissing me last night? Was it a mistake? Are we supposed to just fall back into the lives we have been living for the past ten years and forget last night happened at all? Well, maybe you can do that but I can't. And I won't. It happened. And for the first time since I was with you, I felt real. I felt alive. I didn't feel like I was running from anything any more. Finally, I could... feel again. And now you are asking me to forget that. I can't forget. Please, don't ask me to."  
They sat there staring at each other, tears running down Hermione's face. Finally, Draco stood up.

"I think you should go."

Cause I am hanging  
On every word you say and  
Even if you don't wanne speak tonight  
That's all right  
All right with me  
Cause I want nothing more than  
Sit outside heaven's door  
And listen to you breathing  
That's where I wanna be.  
Breathing- Lifehouse

Hermione ran the whole way home. She collasped onto her bed and cried her eyes out. She couldn't sleep. She couldn't eat. The next morning she stayed in bed. She didn't bother going to work. It stayed like that for a week until one day Draco appeared at her door.

"Granger, open up!"  
No reply.  
"Granger! I mean it. Open this door or I swear I will blow it up!"  
When that had no reply he finally heaved a sigh.  
"Hermione," he said softly. "Hermione, don't do this. You can't hide forever. Please Hermione. I'm sorry. Just open the door. Tristan keeps asking about you. He's worried. He waits at the shop all day. I didn't find out until this morning that you haven't been coming. And Hermione... he's not the only one worried. This morning Ginny Weasley's head appeared in my fire place. She started screaming at me about hurting you and threatened to Avada Kadavra me if I didn't clean up my mess. I would have been here sooner, but I didn't know you were like this. Please Hermione. I'm worried about you. Please."

Hermione walked over to the door and listened with tears falling down her face. She held herself back from throwing open the door and falling into his arms. She wanted nothing more than to do just that. But at the same time, that was just the thing that she didn't want to do either. She heard him sigh again and then heard his footsteps walk slowly away from her door. He was worried about her. She smiled through her tears. If only I didn't need to have a break down to get him to pay attention to me. She fell against her door and sobbed. Her heart, which she thought could break no more, felt as though all the pieces were breaking in half. Pain on top of pain. She ran to her kitchen and grabbed a bottle of muggle aspirin, poured the entire bottle into her hand, and shoved the pills into her mouth. Then she realized what she was doing. She quickly spit the pills into her sink. She grabbed her cup of coffee and refilled it and then walked into her living room. She picked up her newest book and began to read. Her tears dried up, but her head was still swimming with thoughts. As if it wasn't enough to break her heart ten years ago, he had to do it again. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid. She fell for him again. But then again, she had never gotten over him.

For the past ten years Hermione dated any guy that she had a chance with. But just as they would become serious, she would break it off. Over and over again she broke guy's hearts. She couldn't help it. She had lost the ability to love. Ginny was the only one who had not given up on her. Harry and Ron both decided she was too much. They both tried to be with her, proposing to her and bringing her roses, but she just couldn't be with them. After she turned Ron away he just disappeared. It has been seven years since she last heard from him. And Harry had waited until a few years after Ron left to try to be with her. But she turned him away also. And he disappeared shortly after. She had not seen him in about 5 years. She knew who she loved. Try as she might to forget him. She even wrote letters to him, though she never sent them. She never thought she would have to see Draco Malfoy again. She had often thought about what it would be like to get a second chance with him. And she always told herself that she couldn't handle it. She couldn't handle getting hurt by him again. It had broken her the first time, it would completely shatter her a second time. And she was right. She had not left her apartment for a week. She had read every book that she had at least twice. She had not slept longer than two hours at a time. Mostly she just stared at nothing. Even the memories stopped invading her mind. She just kept imagining how things would have turned out if he never would have left her. She had their whole life all planned out. But it would never happen. When Hermione did open her door she found a pile of letters at the door step. All of them had Draco's hand writing on them. One of them caught her eye. It was dated a few days after he left her. She closed the door behind her and carried all the letters to her bedroom. Then she went to the kitchen and automatically poured herself another cup of coffee. She walked back to her room and sat on the bed. Carefully she opened the first letter. It read:

Dearest Sweet Hermione,  
I know that if I give this to you, you will most likely throw it away and not even look at it. But I have to write to you. I have to explain. Even if you will never see this. Breaking up with you was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. And I have thought about taking it all back. But I know that I cannot do that. I have tried to talk to you after classes but you just walk right by me. I see the circles under your eyes. I'm scared for you. I can tell you haven't been sleeping. Truth is, neither have I.  
Please believe me when I tell you that I never intented to hurt you. I did not go out with you as some ploy to ruin your life, although I know that is what some people are saying. And I was not lying when I told you that I saw us together in the mirror. I know this is not helping you. But I need to explain. You may remember Harry studying Occlumency during our fifth year. Yes, I know about that. It was because Voldemort was a very powerful Legilimens. Well, one thing that Dumbledore did not realize is that each one of his death eaters also was a very skilled Legilimens. Meaning my father was. He was the best out the group. And so as soon as I was old enough I began to teach myself Occlumency. I had to block my mind from my father. And it worked. I became very skilled in Occlumency. My father never knew that we were together. If he would have then I would probably not be alive right now. And trust me, neither would you.  
One night when we were together in that old classroom, you remember it don't you, I felt some resistance in my mind. My father had figured out that I was keeping something from him and was trying to get into my mind. I resisted as much as I could. The most he got was that it was about you. He knew nothing of our relationship. He owled me immediately after. That was the night I appeared in your fire. You see, dear Hermione. He threatened that if I had anything to do with you he would come to the school and show me just what punishment a blood traitor got. And then he described to me how he would torture you to death right in front of me before then whipping me, as you know he does, ten times worse then he has ever done, and then killing me too. I knew I had to end it then.I could not risk losing you. The only way to help you- save you- was to break your heart. I hope you can understand this someday. And I hope you can forgive me also. I will forever love you, my Hermione.  
Love from,  
Your Draco

Hermione slowly folded the letter and placed it back in it's envelope. Then she picked up another one. This one explained Tristan to her:

My Love,  
My father threw me a party for my graduation from Hogwarts. I wish you could have been there my sweet. But you could not. I could see my father's mind working and knew I had to block your memory out of my mind. My father introduced me to a girl our age that he had arranged for me to marry. Yes, Hermione, my father is a big fan in arranged marriage. He does not believe in love. He says that it makes a person weak. So he introduced me to her. Her name is Kali, a strong name in my father's mind. In Sanskrit it means dark goddess. You can imagine. My father told me to "make her mine" that night. I had to make love to her. She ended up becoming pregnant. We soon began living together. My father was thrilled and arranged for the marriage to take place soon after the birth of our child. During the nine months, my father was killed by a ministry auror. Now it would only seem logical for me to have left Kali and find you, but I had a duty to her as she was carrying my child. She knew that I did not love her. She openly told me that after the child was born I could leave her. She was also in love with another man and wanted nothing more than to be with him. Then, when she was went into labor she delivered a beautiful baby boy. But Kali died while having our child and I was left to care for my son. I could not go to you when I was raising a child that was not yours. I just couldn't. I'm looking at my son right now. He's three and so much like you. I swear he could be yours. I wish he was. I just needed you to know, I haven't forgotten about you, Hermione. I never could. I love you.  
P.S. His name is Tristan Malachi.  
I Love You Still,  
Your Draco

He wrote to her telling her how smart Tristan was. He wrote to tell her where he had been travelling to. He wrote to tell her how he had given up his old life and decided to live in a small house in Hogsmeade instead of a mansion like the one he grew up in. He wrote to tell her many things. But he always kept one thing the same. Not a letter went by without him telling her how much he loved her. She laughed at some parts, cried at others. But she finally understood. She could finally see what had gone wrong. She got up and washed her face. She put on her deep plum robes and dumped her coffee out in the sink. She looked at the time and saw that she had stayed up the whole night reading his letters. It was seven in the morning. She was an hour late, but she could still open the store for the day.  
When she turned the corner to the street of her store she expected to see Tristan waiting as he always did in front of the door. But there was no one there. Instead what she saw made her eyes well up with tears. But not of hurt and pain. Tears of joy. In front of the door of Erised books sat bouquets of flowers, cards that were enchanted to sing to her and ones that would whisper for her to get well soon. There were boxes and boxes of books from Flourish and Blotts and then she saw something that seemed to make her heart stop. There, sitting a top the door knob, was a silver ring. It had a beautiful amethyst stone in the middle of it. She unlocked the door and carried everything into the shop, then slowly she slipped the ring into her pocket. It just didn't feel right to wear it.  
Hermione had more customers in her shop that day than she ever did. Everyone asked her what had happened and she quickly came up with a story about a horrible bout of the flu that kept coming and going and finally left and stayed gone that morning. No one saw any reason to not believe her. As many customers as she had that day, she never saw Draco or Tristan. She became a little worried. After she closed up the store she even stayed an hour after, tidying things up, hoping that Draco would appear at the door. When he didn't her heart sank a little but she pulled her cloak on, poured a cup of coffee, and headed towards her home.  
When she reached the landing that her apartment was on she saw the shadow of someone sitting outside the door. Her heart learched as she heard crying. Then she heard Draco's voice.  
"Hermione, please, please. Come out. I know you are here. My letters are gone. You must have got them. I put a charm on them so that no one but you could pick them up. Please. I thought they would help you understand. Just open the door."  
Hermione crept up behind Draco and gently knelt beside him. She placed a hand on his shoulder and just as he was about to yell she placed a finger over his lips.  
"Let me talk, Draco."  
She unlocked her door, took him by the hand, and led him into her apartment. They both sat down on the couch and she then began to speak.  
" At first, I thought that you had written those letters just recently as a plot to get me to talk to you. Then I realized that I knew you better than that. I believe you Draco. And I never thought that I would say this, but Thank you for leaving me. I'm sure you thought it to be for the best. And now I see that you were hurting just as much as I was. But Draco, you never told me how you felt about having to leave me. In the first letter you made it clear but after that I could not tell if you regretted breaking it off or not. I know that you said that you still loved me, but you made it seem as though you had learned to deal with it. As though you weren't sad at all."  
"Hermione, for someone as smart as you, I thought you would have figured this out by now. Did you think to look up the meaning of my son's name? In French Tristan means sad and in Hebrew Malachi means my angel, or just angel. I named my son after how I felt. Sad angel. How we both felt. You used to ay that I seemed like your own angel, because I had saved you. And I said the same thing. We were both angels for each other. Well, my son's name says it all. Sad angel. Do you understand? That is how sad I was."  
"Draco... I don't know what to say to you. I mean what kept you from coming for me after Tristan was born? Why did you just leave me and go on all of your travels around the world and back?"  
"I thought that youl would have moved on by now. I mean, I didn't want to just show up and ruin your life. I figured that you had a seperate life from me and I didn't want to hurt you in any way more than I already did years ago."  
"But you did show up. You son did at least."  
"Yes, and he was drawn to you. He told me that night that he felt as though he had met you before. When he was a baby I used to tell him about you all the time. He must remember that. Hermione, I never planned on it being this way."  
"I know, Draco. I know."  
She then moved beside him and melted into his arms. After a while they both fell asleep. The next morning the sun poured in through the living room window, waking Draco. He looked down into his arms and saw Hermione beginning to stir. She opened her eyes and smiled at him. He looked into her chocolate colored eyes and murmured, "Good Morning Beautiful."  
Hermione smiled back at him thinking, This is just the beginning of many peaceful nights.


End file.
